ECHOES OF ANGELS (don't ask me why)
I really meant to post this blog yesterday cos it was burning a hole in my brain somewhere, but, hell, with all my money issues and INS procedures, I got to busy at work and forgot, then couldn't find the time.
Life is simply unbelievable and whoever, (pardon me, Father) writes the script for this stage that Bill Shakespeare talks about, I'm sorry to say, can be ...I don't want to use sick or perverted, but I can certainly hear his glee as he watches his scenes unfold and his players double over from the torture(popularly known as drama).
Here's the deal, I talked to Peter Sunday night and found out that he had sent me his picture in my inbox. I come to work to look at it and there he is, handsome as ever, with his John Singleton/ Isaiah Washington looks.
Sometime later, as I work, I happen to hear VERTICAL HORIZON's "Everything You Want" and it hits me like a sledgehammer. I get that epiphany. I mean, I've idly discussed it with myself and even others, but yesterday I really pondered it. Scrutinized it proper. Looked at it from all angles,considered all the possibilities.
"Somewhere they're speaking, somewhere they're coming in, oh and it's rising at the back of your mind.
You never could get it, but you still fed it, now you're here and you don't know why:
He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things, at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why."
(Vertical Horizon)
The story of my life. Like I said the script is absolutely perverted. Pete. He satisfies my criteria to a T. All that I want and all that I need. I really considered him like never, and you know what I came up with? Nuthin. Nope, not a twinge. I'll probably get more reaction loking at a woman. Now, just how perverted is that? God.
I did some more inner searching and I realized that I'm more focused on Ren whom I barely know, than Pete, who I know exactly how he'll turn out.
Well, yesterday I had to keep myself from calling Ren. I called myself wanting to see if he'll make contact. I checked my email this morning and he had sent me one, signing it "your man" I'm not even going to read too much into that. Take it one a day.
I made my first INS contact. help me God.