OF PITTSBURGH, REN AND ME
I promised I would dedicate a blog to him, so I am. I really gotta free my mind on this one cos confused doesn't even cut it. And my confusion in now steming directly from my own mind. B4 that,I gotta digress a little to the subject of the Burgh. Even though I have already blogged about it, my feelings for that city named for William Pitt are such that I can't stop moaning all about it.. I really love it there now. I did, the first couple times and it was enuff to make me go there again, but now that there's a male interest of some sort, am just plain itching to go back, and that's putting it mildly. Hopefully, I'll get to migrate there or if I decide to go home, I'll use the Burgh as my destination city in the States.
So about Ren. Yeah, I do confuse myself. It is a rare thing, but I do do it sometimes, and I can't even tell if my confusion is good or not. I mean I do tend to feel things too deep, too quickly and we all know what the consequences are with that. Considering my track history with the male species, I have no idea what is up with me, or whether this is even a good thing or not. What the hell?
Hopefully, this is the right combination for me. I have been living with what I now see might be a misconception, you know, that if I wasn't feeling all hearts and roses and ga-ga over a guy, then I probably didn't like him all that well. I might be wrong, I might be right, looking at my configuration. I'm all true Pisces. It's all or nothing. I get bored with in between stuff. I hate the compliments you did okay, you look nice, you passed. I either look awful or I look stunning. I did terribly or I was excellent. I flunked with a bang or I blew my professor's mind. What the hell kinda attitude is that? Two fucking extremes running riot in me. Then, sometimes, I don't want good or bad. just okay. Hence my deals with God, if nothing good happens today, please don't make anything bad happen. Ma knew what she was talking about when she talked about the fish in opposite directions. I am a mass of conflicting emotions and characteristics. It's a wonder I don't have a severe case of acute MPD. God!
Back to the main topic. When I got to Pittsburgh the first time, I quickly formed the assumption that the guys over there won't work, so I put any notions outta my mind and you know what they say about the rest. (It's history, dimwit)
Third time is always a charm. Like I always do, I knew it was coming. Been visualizing it and then played around with the idea what if it was K'fo. Of course, I had no idea what was up till I came back home and then suddenly, Ren is all in my vision. Got to act like a teenager around her sixth crush till a week later, telephone glitches happened that he couldn't return any of my calls. I broke myself down, grieved over what could have been and decided to move on. I didn't think it was all that effective cos when he called me the ff day, I was all excited and suddenly my day shone brighter. Silly girl.
But since then, my itchy pants have slowed down a whole lot. Whaddup with that? I can actually let a cople days go by without calling or him calling and not fall apart.
Verdict: I think God has put His Hands of Mercy on me so that I slow my damn roll b4 I plunge headlomg into yet another disaster,
Thank You, God.
I

 
MONDAY MORNING
Like everyone knows and a few dumbly reckless people refuse to acknowledge, I am not a morning person. So, this new shift thing is really not gonna work. It still won't change the minds of the powers that be; I am stuck with this new shift. So lately I have been ambling in to this place of employment and don't really wake up till, oh, I don't know, eleven? I know, it's crazy but I'm still adjusting to this new shift biz. After four months.
Anyway, I promised myself I would do the best I can to catch up with my blogs, so here goes.
My weekend, it was okay. I was determined not to sit around doing nothing, so I created stuff for me to do. Not too hard, considering the busy body that I am.
Fri night: Was supposed to go to the Kappa party. Ended up staying at home and watching some DVD's I had rented, in case I didn't go. It was cold and rainy and since I didn't feel like getting sick again, I stayed my butt at home.
Sat: Was supposed to go the Kappa picnic and step show. Got the info that there weren't many people there at the park so I ended up going to Payless and Walmart. Come home, cook, eat and wow, those pills prescribed by my doctore are no joke. I'm like a starved pregnant woman with worms. It's incredible.
Sun: Morning Mass. Come eat breakfast and then after a while I proceed to go and further spend money I do NOT have. I wanted this French( excuse me, "Freedom") Pedicure so bad, and so I got to the nail place where those redneck customers look at me coming in there like I was something alien, like what's she doing here. Anyways, the nail technician who did my pedicure told me I didn't need a French Pedicure cos my toes looked okay. Thereupon, I figured God was speaking to me to save my money. But, no, the damn devil, damn him to hell, spke thru the owner, do you want your fingers done as well? I figured, what the heck, go get it all then. I'm sixty full dollars short when I leave. Not I can't afford it, I can, but no from this paycheck. I had too much coming out of it too mess around like that. I shd have waited till next paycheck. Now I'm flat assed broke, and I really hope that it will all be worth it and most of all, that I DON"T STARVE!!!!!!!!!!!!