TRA LA LA LAAAAA!!!!!
I was watching VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the past 25 yrs. They asked some of the celebrity commentators about the top 5 songs that changed their life. I figured I'd compile my own list. Evidently stuff like that tells you a lot about yourself.
I'm going to put down 25 of my favorites and then tell you which five changed my life.
25. Hey Jude- The Beatles
24. Listen to Your Heart- Roxette
23. Cry -Michael Jackson
22. Let's Hear It For the Boy- Denise Williams
21. Blurry- Puddle of Mudd
20. Anokye- Kwadwo Antwi
19. Love Breaks Your Heart- Vanessa Williams/ Brian McKnight
18. Picture Me Rollin' - Tupac
17. I'm the Greatest- R Kelly
16. Reason For Breathing- Babyface
15. Key to My Heart- Craig David
14. Everything You Want- Vertical Horizon
13. Akwaaba- Angelique Kidjo
12. Hot in Herre- Nelly
11. Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely- Backstreet Boys
10. Suddenly- Billy Ocean
9. In the Late of Night- Toni Braxton
8. Love Breaks Your Heart- Vanessa Williams/ Brian McKnight
7. Koyonso- Papa Shee
6. Knocks Me Off My Feet- Stevie Wonder
5. Brown Eyed Girl- Tevin Campbell
4. Shape of My Heart- Sting
3. United in Love- Commodores
2. Another Sad Love Song- Toni Braxton
1. Ghost of you and Me- BB Mak
Now I have a special list of Songs which had me spellbound.
1 Lose Yourself- Eminem
2. Cry - Michael Jackson
3. Flower in the Rain- Jaci Velasquez.
4. I Don't Care- Plus One
5. I'm Not In Love- BB Mak
6. All For One- Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, and Sting.
7. Someday- Mariah Carey
8. Beat It- Michael Jackson
9. Biaako- Nat Brew
10.You're the Inspiration- Chicago.
And TheFive Which Changed My Life
5. Show me The Meaning of Being Lonely.(Backstreet Boys)
4. Rainy Dayz- Mary J
3. Free- Rachel Lampah
2. Hilife in G-Major- Gemann
1. Ghost of You and Me- BB Mak
FULL CIRCLE
I usually don't blog when I'm depressed. Makes it real hard cos I'm trying to bury my feelings, not take them apart. This time, I'm not taking the victim's route. This is another buffalo stance.
I've been played, dawg. He came, saw me and had me conquered. Full circle. That's all there is to it.
I went to the Burgh on Thurs night, fully convinced that Ren wasn't getting anything from me that I wasn't ready to part with. Matter of fact, I had visions of grandeur where I was telling him that all that aggravation that's passed b/n us the last couple months has ensured that whatever affection I had for him was extinct. And walking on.
Brave words for a crippled soul. I saw him again and I crumbled. Oh, so he's not Denzel, but I found myself thinking that he'd definitely look good in a tux beside me in a white gown. We go to his place, nature begins to take it's course and I fight it. I give him all the reasons why too much, too soon would be disastrous. I even let him know that this wasn't something I did casually.
You know what that heifer told me? " I want to be with you; I thought you already knew that." Also: "I feel totally at ease with you know, totally comfortable and if something happened here today, I wouldn't think any less of you. We've been talking long enough for me to feel comfortable"
Wow. What bullshit. It amazes me how some men can take total manure and dress it to look like chocolate cake. Cos I ate it all up. This nigger is a pro. I ate it all up. Me, playa supreme. I guess the MO was so simple and basic that I thought there was no way it could all be a lie. Wow. What bull shit.
Anyway, I resisted him for a while, after which he got all huff puffed, said some hurtful things and ended up playing that victim card. " I don't appreciate you playing games with me, Patricia. That's all you been doing. Leading me on and stringing me along." Yadda, yadda, yadda. Boo hoo.
I ended up having to prove that I wasn't playing with him, during which he suddenly stopped and got all philosophical. "What's going on b/n us,Tricia? I just want to know what the deal really is."
So I'm thinking, damn, maybe he is right. He doesn't want to give himself till he's sure. I totally respect him for being able to stop when he did. Not many full blooded men can do a seven month drought and have time to pause and think when they get to an oasis.
Next night, same exact thing happens. At the back of my mind somewhere, it occurred to me that, this man might have, in the words if Shakespeare, "died in my lap" and was too embarrassed to admit it. Becos the way he acted so damn funny, well it didn't add up. There was too much discomfort in his attitude. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I know something made him flustered. Then there was the comments he made about his joystick. He called it a little snake. I could tell it was one of his hangups.
Then come the ff night when we take a break. The night after that, his whole behavior changed. He was the guy I had been looking for. Affectionate, humorous, GENTLE. Totally bizarre.
What went down was so that I had a hard time regretting it and realizing it for the wrongdoing it was. But guess what, trust Ren, he's put a prick in my bubble. Literally.
He said it Sat night and said it again last night. "I can't get into anything serious with you cos of your situation."
WHAT THE HELL? That was one the first things he knew about me when we got introduced. He's been knowing about it for the past three months. It's all we've ever talked about, whenever the topic of us comes up. Now suddenly, it's a problem. Now he's got an attack of the righteous and realized how wrong it is? How convenient, mutherfucker!
Wow, what bullshit.
